Social Pancake – Blooming for Success

We are what we repeatedly do – Aristotle

Lately I’ve been going on the inner game path and wanted to find out what foundations I needed. I stumbled on the idea of identity when I saw the Pickup Artist show and BradP’s 30/30 program where they both started with the idea of identity. It totally slipped my process of becoming a more attractive man because when I started out 6 months ago I went straight away with approaching and memorizing routines. I started peacocking and dressing better, but for some reason the girls never knew exactly who I was. As of late this changed because I started grounding myself better. Unfortunately there isn’t much information out in the community on identity and grounding, so this interview series on identity was a bless.

I can advise everyone to take notes of these interview series CDs because you will pickup a lot more valuable information than listening 10x to it (like I used to do).

Out of this CD I really got what an identity is and foremost why it is important to have a strong identity. Your identity is not necessarily your job/occupation, this is something I thought it was. It’s something far more than that and they go over how to display your identity. It can be done through stories, props, clothing, and social circle.

In almost every set, when you’ve attracted the girl, she will start to ask “what do you do?” The bad thing is to straight away answer with your job, because it doesn’t tell the girl anything who YOU really are. Also, if you have an unattractive identity you can frame it in way that it seems attractive without lying (imho you should never have to lie in set).

Another important aspect of identity is attracting the girl with your fashion. I didn’t know that your identity displayed through your fashion can actually be used as a false disqualifier. Congruence is very important and that is the reason we cannot all peacock like Mystery because it has to match your identity. If you’re a finance freak then you shouldn’t peacock with painted nails, you get the idea. BradP, not on this CD, also has some good stuff on this with sexual stereotyping your identity.

How do you construct a grounding routine? There is very little information on this but you can find some pointers on this CD. This one of the most important parts of your game, grounding. If you can’t do it, then the girl will never know who you are and she won’t be able to brag/tell her friend who you are.

The advice Sinn, Future, and Tenmagnet give really apply to life and they should make you a better person. Thus a more attractive man that women want to be around with.

After listening to this CD and taking notes, I had some epiphanies and made me realize a lot of stuff. It’s that good. “Live your life”

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Reviews

I was sitting in my bed thinking what pickup has so far taught me after I saw a topic on the Casanove boards on epiphanies. Whenever me and my buddies were out, every one in the crew would get epiphanies but I was always the one that would have none. Or it would take several weeks later for me to realize something. Anyway, here are some of mine epiphanies that I came up with. I’m sure there are more, but for next time.

All women need validation.
Getting a number doesn’t mean shit. Can you fuck a number?
You can open with anything.
Learning pickup is not a linear process.
Pickup has many similarities to life in general.
Pickup is about self-improvement.
Nice guys really do finish last.
Women want to be emotionally stimulated.
Being dominant and unreactive is attractive.
The game isn’t played in attraction, but in comfort.
Having game will not fix your problems.
Being attractive is something you are, not what you do.
The game is always on.
It doesn’t matter what others think of you.
Girls are horny and want sex just like guys.
Women don’t want to be judged.
Qualification is not just asking questions and saying you like it too.
Force framing makes qualification almost unnecessary.
The amount of learning pickup has no correlation with performance. More doesn’t mean better.
When you hit a plateau, studying more material won’t fix your sticking point.
Having balls will bring you far in pickup and in life.
Getting validated by the amount of women slept is uber stupid.
Learn to love yourself first.
An identity as pickup artist is shit.
Let pickup enrich you life, not define it.
Preventing flakes = hard qualification + ninja comfort + timebridge.
Looks don’t matter.
Social proof and pre-selection work.
Women dislike needy men.
The is more than one way to seduce women, there is no ‘ultimate’ technique.
Something or someone doesn’t have value when you don’t give it value.

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PUA

So I’m back in the Netherlands for a week now and I was reading ‘The Adventures of Brad P’ eBook for entertainment. That guy has some amazing stories and I highly recommend everyone to get a copy. In one of his field reports he tells that he made out with 4 chicks in a club and as conclusion he stated that club game is all about social proof. This reminded me of my last night in LA before I went back to the Netherlands.

My flight to Amsterdam was at 8am on saturday and I would go to a dinner party setup for me the evening before. Some of my friends arrive at the sushi place and then one of my buds brings two really cute girls, but one of them is definitely hot. All of my male friends are in awe when they see her and start laughing, but I keep my cool and try to think of a strategy to game her. A cold approach is not in place here, it’s all social circle, and I have no idea how to do that. I’ve been focusing on cold approaches, so this would be interesting.

I try to keep my cool and kind of ignore her, be cocky/funny, and try to lead the group. I try to make her jealous by gaming the cute friend by teaching her some cool handshakes and whenever the hotter girl interjects I tease her. Originally I planned to just go to the dinner and then head home to get some sleep before I wake up early for my flight, but everyone convinced me to go out and stay up all night. Oh well, you only live once. We all drive to the club and meet up at the line. I try to be the social guy and talk to the people in line. At this point I have absolutely no AA, I felt I needed to show my friends that I have game. This force pushed me to be really social and the hot girl saw me do cold approaches and give value to everyone I talked to. Then I turn to her and she starts touching me, punching me but I play hard to get.

We get in the club and it’s still dead. My group gets on the dance floor and we all have a great time. Everyone in the club noticed as we made a circle and just did goofy moves in the middle. It’s starting to get packed and I see some girls dancing around my group, so I assume they wanted to be approached. I see this 6set of girls and I bust in the middle doing the cyclone. They bust out laughing and then I pick one girl and put her on the spot. I keep dancing with them to social proof myself and off I go to the next group of girls.

Then I see this 3set dancing but two of the girls are already grinding on some guys and the third is left alone. When you see a girl without a guy while her friends dance with some guys then it’s SUPER EASY to dance with the loner. I’ve done this so many times. I let some guys approach girls and if they hook and there is one/two girls dancing without a guy, I take one of them. They will always dance with you, they don’t want to look like they can’t get a guy and someone needs to entertain them while their friend(s) are having all the fun. This is really effective and easy to social proof yourself on the dance floor and then when the next songs up you go to your next set. That set must have seen you dance with other girls so usually the new girl will know you’re not some creep and getting her to dance with you is easy.

Anyway, I’m totally having fun and radiate that energy. I wasn’t really into gaming girls but I used the skills to my advantage. I was really having fun and sometimes I forget that having fun is important too instead of trying to learn pickup skills which can be so repetitive at times when you don’t have a structure to learn it. Good thing is when I come back in LA I will have a structure and long-term plan to learn the Venusians arts.

What happened to the hottie? Well I found out that my AFC friend was really into her and danced with her the whole night, so I told him what to do to get her. She was into him but he kind of screwed up. I found out later thru Facebook that she has a boyfriend but she never mentioned it, so that would mean she was attracted to him but he failed to escalate.

In any case, all the sets were really easy and I was in state for once. I saw neocorp by chance too so I had to grind on him from behind to surprise him ;) I see this seated 4set and go in with ‘hello you guys seem cool, are you friendly?’ and they tell me to get lost. Haha, game on. I sit down and pass some tests and they open up. They still claim that they’re lesbians (two couples) so I try to figure out who the dominant one is, who’s on top, etc. They get into it but I call them out that they’re not dominant and need a dick blablabla. And to really push myself out of nowhere I put my left hand on one of the girls’ mouth, like to choke her, and the kiss the back of my hand so it looks I kissed her lips. The girls totally freak out and tell me to leave. I act like nothing happened and start a new story. Well, they left me. I guess I went a little bit too far, but I need to keep doing that.

Moral of the field report is, I can totally see Brad P’s point of having social proof in clubs. It makes a lot of sets easier, but I wouldn’t rely on it. Also Brad P suggests to go to clubs with a social circle to have social proof, which I find a very good idea. Ever since I started sarging it was always with my wings and while it was fun in the beginning it became boring after several months. I mean I saw them 3/4 times a week and we always go to the same venues and having fun was not on the agenda anymore. Learning to approach in the beginning was fun, but the fun was gone after a while. It all has to do with slacking in some structure in learning pickup, but like I said it will change soon. I will be happy to see them again soon and then the fun will be back. I’m bringing fun back!

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PUA

Ah it’s nice being back home here in the Netherlands. I haven’t been here in two years and it was crazy seeing my little brothers again. The beasts have grown! Of course my parents were happy to see me and one of my best friends was at the airport too! That was really cool! Jetlag is still a problem for me because I fall asleep randomly during the day and I’m tired at the weirdest moments of the day. Should be gone in the next few days.

As you know I’m taking a little break from any pickup stuff. I caught myself reading the pu boards again, so I deleted all my shortcuts to pu boards in my browser so it’s not a click away. The only thing I read about pickup is the RSS feeds.

Speaking of reading, I’ve started reading The Power of Now. I just finished chapter one and I’m trying to actively reading it. Meaning, I underline important quotes and paragraphs in the book and later will copy the notes in my pickup binder. I’ve read a lot of self-help books but a lot of times the concepts never stuck in my head, so I’m trying this new approach to learning. So far, I like the book but the concepts are pretty vague. It will be more clear in later chapters I assume. I have high expectations of this book, it’s not an unknown book in the community and some people highly praise this book. I shall see.

I brought over my printed version of theREDstack. I still don’t know most of the stack, but one of my goals is to have more than 75% memorized and practiced before I go back to LA. I want to be able spit out stories about myself without worrying what to say.

When I return, I want to be a beginner again and start from scratch. I’m taking a break to defrag myself from all the knowledge I have so I can start with a fresh mindset. El Topo and Sinn are doing a mentorship program and I’m considering taking it. Another possibility is the 30/30 program of BradP. Both seem like really good programs to learn game in a structured manner. Right now, I’m leaning more towards the 30/30 club because I know exactly what I can expect. I need to e-mail ET for more info.

Before I got on the plane, I made sure I got rid of most of my pickup audio on my iPhone. It’s full of music now instead of 90% of pickup material.

I will get some pictures of here. The Netherlands is so different than LA, it’s magnificent.

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Rants

So Thursday night was my last night out with the crew since I’ll be going back home to The Netherlands for the next 2 months. So me, Maui, Deelucks and Streetwisekeen hit up Neocorp’s place first and watch the sucking Lakers game. Then Maui suggested to have a ’sarge-off’.

I was totally down for that. We all need to be more aggressive in sets, especially me. I’m so passive and always play it safe so this was good for a change. Here were the rules.
* Free for all, no winging
* #close is 1 point
* kclose is 5 points (has to be reciprocate kiss, no forcing)
* BJ, HJ, Lay is automatic win. If tied, the one with the hottest girl wins

Winner gets from everyone $1 :)

We parked our car and together walked to the venue. I’m thinking, “It’s on even before we enter the club…” so on the way I try to open a set just to get blown out to pump me up. I see this single set and go in:

SS: Do you prefer a direct or indirect approach?
Deelucks: Sirslick, honey lets go [drags me away]

Geez, she didn’t even have a chance to blow me off!

SWK opens this 3set and Deelucks tries to AMOG him with little effect, but just good enough to prevent him from closing them.

This place has a lot of couples and I shoot the shit for a bit with this promotor who is overselling himself, in my mind I’m thinking “(accent) You qualified yourself to me….” I pretend to believe all his crap and then start opening sets.

I start off with some guys to shoot the shit about the crappy Lakers game to warm up so I can eject and open adjacent sets in a split second. Then I open this cute geekie looking girl I saw SWK opened earlier. She is standing against the wall with a drink and I do the horse-girl opener. It hooks and I force her to move so I lockin against the wall. I spike her BT and kino escalate rapidly, by taking her glasses and smelling her hair. I think I could do this because Deelucks tried to blow me out by whispering something in her ear, Fromeo style of Keys To The VIP (season 2, ep I dunno). I block him out with my BL and force the girl to face. I was aggressive and dominant, it felt good. We shoot the shit and recycle qualification and kino escalate more by touching her cheecks and then to the lips with my fingers. She bit on my finger,

SS: Ohh you bad girl. *spank*
HB: Hahaha I like that

Then her BF comes in. I’m standing there and I try to grab his attention but he won’t give me any. Handling interrupts and AMOGs is still a big SP of mine here again I lost a set.

I walk out to the patio and I see Deelucks sitting down with a girl, they looked a little bit too comfortable. So I sit next to the girl, on the opposite side of Deelucks, so she was sitting between dudes now. I overhear Deelucks talking and I go in with some negs, borderline insults.

SS: O…Myy….Goodddd, you’re hair is fucking fake :)
HB: What? [backturns to me, talks to Deelucks]
SS: Yeah turn away little girl, can’t handle it huh!

I now have her full attention and she immediatly starts to test me. Now every time I get a test, my bell goes off and I recognize it, so I go BradP absurdify style, and stack. I run my redstack and it’s money but then her niece comes in and I found out the Deeluck’s target really was married with 4 kids. Damn, she sure didn’t look like it. I befriend the cuter niece and while I’m seated I twirl her so she ended up falling upon me. Haha, I have a short talk with her before she heads back in. Then I went in for the number with the married chick, Deelucks’ target, but avail no go.

Then I see the niece again and call her over. So here I sit, with Deelucks, Maui, and SWK surrounding me immediatly. You mofo bastards :) I grab the girl and make her sit on my lap. Maui tries to steal her from me by doing his handshake but I have the girl by waist and didn’t let her go. There was one problem, as she was sitting on my lap she was facing all my buddies except me. I should have whispered something dirty in her ear and then drag her to the bathroom Pheromone kid style, I still want to try that :) Instead I told her to stand up and I’ll show her how to dance salsa. While I’m holding both her hands, everyone but especially SWK is physically blocking me from moving out of this chode circle :P He almost trips me but I get her few feet away and try to isolate to booth. Failed, IOD her and then show her how dance salsa. Immediatly SWK comes in AMOGing me and he says he can hiphop. She wants to see it and I go: “Yeah dancing monkey, go dance”
Then her gay friend comes in and drags her away. Another interrupt killing my set. Do you see a pattern yet?

Then I see this hot swedish girl, I have a thing for swedish girl. They are truely hot. Great accent, skin, body, and intelligence. Big part of my blueprint. So I open the mixed set and immediatly mini isolate with her like El Topo instructed me to do. I run basic MM and my redstack and she is eating it. As I was about to fully isolate to start sexual framing and more comfort, SWK comes in and blows me out hardcore.

SWK: Sirslick you need to talk your mom. She has been calling me 5 times now and she is worried why you suddenly left the house without telling her. She is driving me crazy, come on talk to her [handing me his phone]

Immediatly the set is gone. I had no comeback for that one, props for you SWK. That was my best set till SWK set off the atomic bomb. HARRRRRRRRRRR

There weren’t too many sets around so everytime someone of us would open a set, he would immediatly get AMOGed. I was walking around and I had literally Deelucks and SWK following me around so they could see open sets and then blow me out. IT WAS FUN! I didn’t have that much fun in a while, one of the best nights I would say. It was fun. Also learned some stuff, so it’s all good.

Peace.

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FR

I announced earlier that I’m going to take a break for 2 months. Yes, for a while I won’t be doing any pickup related as I’m heading back home to the Netherlands and see my parents and old friends again. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t be going out. Actually, I will be going out a lot but I won’t have any missions, drills, or anything pickup on my mind. For now I want that completely out of my mind. Pickup has really overloaded my brain with too much information.

One of the things that BradP talked about at the PUA Summit 2008 is the importance of information timing, getting the right information at the right time. This is important for learning pickup. You shouldn’t learn the advanced stuff when you just start out. Nor do you want to be a KJ. I have to admit, I was a KJ for a month before I went out sarging. But since I’m a recovering computer geek I always have spent time surfing the pickup boards while going out 4 nights a week. At the same time I discovered some seduction related torrent sites and started exploring a lot of different pickup styles and info. Remember, I I still went out but I also kept reading like a wildman.

Now I’m at the point where I don’t want any information anymore. I have the feeling that I know too much. That is one of the reasons my AA has gone back. With too much on my mind I think too much whenever I’m out thinking what to do and say. I hope that this break will help me clear my mind so that when I come back I can start with a clean sheet. I’m thinking of doing either BradP’s 30/30 program or El Topo’s mentorship program. We’ll see.

During the break I’m planning to read 3 books: ‘The power of now’, ‘The way of superior man’, and ‘influence’. I really want to focus on my inner game this break and try to get rid of my limiting beliefs that I have. I feel like that’s another part that is holding me back, my weak inner game. Although I have written on my whiteboard “I AM A TEN”, I still don’t feel that way. I feel like I don’t 110% deserve a 9 or 10. That is mainly due to my lifestyle, but that is something I want to touch upon in another post.

I’ll be leaving in exactly a week from today. It’s going to be fun and exciting to be back in the little country most Americans don’t know anything about except for the legal drugs policy and legal prostitution. My friends will see a different me and I can’t wait to hang out with them!

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Rants

Sinn gave everyone at the PUA Summit 2008 a free 15 minute phone consultation. Not too long ago I talked to El Topo on the phone, and today I spoke with Sinn. Lucky me, I talked to two of my favorite people in the community!

Basicly Sinn wanted to find out what my sticking points are and what a typical night for me is. I told him my situation and what my goals are with pickup. Immediatly Sinn started diagnosing my game to find out what my SP are. He reminded me that learning game is not a linear process and that is so true. He identified that my opening is not as good as it’s supposed to be. Also, group theory is a SP of mine, but I knew that already. Sinn gave me some quick pointers on how to fix that, because the bigger the sets get, the more of a dancing monkey I become. Another SP is mixed sets. I’ve posted this before on my blog, I play it safe whenever I’m out. I always pick the easy sets and try to avoid the harder sets. That has to change. So by just talking to me Sinn revealed to me 2 new sticking points. The list gets bigger, but I only want to work on 3 SP at a time.

Too bad it was only 15 minutes. I’m sure that an hour with him on the phone could help me diagnose my game to the fullest and have solutions to fix my SP even better. I hope to work with Sinn and El Topo in the future with their menthorship program. But more details on that when I come back from vacation in late August.

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Reviews

So I went out yesterday and that was the last day of May. If someone would ask me how my month overal was, I would say “mediocre”. In April I hit a plateau so it really couldn’t get worse than that. I had a date with a girl this month, my 3rd date since I joined the community in Dec 07. I do see this a victory because I improved my phone game a lot. Few months ago I can remember that I was really scared for talking to a girl on the phone, but in May my phone game was really smooth since I was talking to girls almost every day on the phone. Now I have structure for phone game and material that I actually use. Maybe I’ll publish my structure soon, something that has been working for me.

So, yes I had this date. I went in with no expectations and it ended up really well. I don’t think I wrote a FR for it, but basicly I met up with my target and her friend. We walked around Disney Downtown and then catched a movie. I grabbed my balls and kissed her as soon as her friend left. I built some more comfort and she is in love with me. Geez, I’m such a smooth guy sometimes ;)

Too bad I really don’t have any feelings for her. I’m not in the game to have a girlfriend YET, I want fuck buddies. I do not think I can turn her around into a FB because we started in the dating frame as soon we started talking on the phone. But I can add her to my social circle. I just need to figure out how I’m going to put her into the friendzone and at the same time keeping her around. I’m just like a girl…

However, from reading my own field reports and talking to El Topo, I really need to find a way to have some structure in learning game. I really have this feeling that I’m not progressing as fast anymore as I used to. Of course, when you just start out then your learning experience is like a J-curve. But I truely believe I can still learn a lot more in a faster way. I just need some sort of structure. Also I don’t think I truely know what my sticking points are. So far I think these are my SP:

-Getting full isolation
-Bantering
-Bouncing girls out of the venue
-Consistently approaching the hottest girls
-Direct game during the day
-Handling AMOGs and interrupts

I’m sure there are other areas that I can improve on, but these are the important points. If I can blast them away one by one I’m sure I’ll be money!

I’ll be taking a break for 2 months since I’m going back to Amsterdam in 2 weeks. But I’ll blog more about the next few days.

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Reviews

State of Mind
A girl asked me to come to her sister’s 21st birthday, but I didn’t feel like going. I mean, I can go and try to seduce my target but the thing is that I’m not really into her. It would feel like a chore to go over there and try to get that lay. So even though I might have gotten laid, I prefer to have fun with my buddies over sex. Also friday and saturdays are nights for sarging, no exceptions for now! Until I’m really good, then I can ;)

Goal of the Night
Again I didn’t set any goals, except to field test the ass slap routine of Mehow that I posted earlier. Also I wanted to do the absurdify for tests that I got from Brad P.

Progress of My Goal
I didn’t really actively pursue my goals, it was more of a night out without the mindset of “I need to this and this,” Near the end of the night it popped in my head that I needed to field test those routines so I started doing it. It went fine and they did work, so I have new material in my arsenal.

But really, I was just out to relax since I haven’t been out in a while. I was kind of winging it.

Best Set of the Night
I honestly can’t remember, it really wasn’t that remarkable. Most sets were ‘the usual’, meaning opening, attraction, qualification. If I like the girl, I’ll go further. If not, she’s my pivot and I’ll try to merge sets.

NO WAIT, there was one fun set. I see Maui doing his Jeffy impersonation of how guys at clubs act when they meet a girl. They ask a lot of questions so Maui did the same thing Jeffy style:
“Hi, what’s your name? Where are you from? What do you do? How old are you? Where are you from? Oh wait, I already asked you that…HAHA” saying this in a robot manner and then peck every timeyou ask a question. BT went up so I walk by, “WHERE THE FUCK IS JEFFY?!” Maui pulls me in and I do the same thing, girls crank up. Girls are leaning against the wall so I spin the girl to steal her spot. I do the ass slap routine but Maui was field testing it too. So she already knew, “are you guys pickup artist?”
SS: Yeah totally, I’m picking you up!
HB1: Ok so whats next?
SS: Awww, before I rejoin my friend, you guys must be best friends. You guys make the exact same facial expressions.
…..
SS: You have a u-shape smile….
….
SS: Btw, I have an ex jealous girlfriend….

And we just blew up the set self-amusing ourselves by just throwing out all the canned material from the show and book. That set really put me in state but too bad it was towards the end of the night. We should start doing this stuff at the beginning of the night. For next time! Damn, that set was funny.

Worst Set of the Night
Hmm two sets stood out. The first one was a russian woman all by herself. When a girl is out by herself, first thing that popped up was “she WANTS some cock,” So I immiediatly start hitting on her but at the same time run my normal game. After 15 minutes of recycling SOIs, attraction, and qualifications I find out that she sleeps at a hostel. FUCK! After that the interaction went down and I was totally disinterested.

Another one was a 3set where one girl was really CBing me. We started a neg warfare and she just kept going at it. So at one point I said “respect” and put out my first with a big smile. She pounded it and I was in. Did BT spiking but the girls really weren’t that hot so I wasn’t interested. I just wanted to be in set before I would merge or open another set.

Sticking Points
I really need some structure learning this stuff. I tend to go out now with goals that just don’t fix my sticking points. Also I need to something that will grow my balls because I didn’t approach the hottest girl in the club. She was in this big 9set when I just came into the club so I said to myself “wait for better opportunity” but I never saw her again. GROW SOME BALLSSSSS.

Goals for Next Time
1. Approach no matter what, I don’t care how early it is or how big the set is. APPROACH THE HOTTEST GIRL ALWAYS.
2. Structured learning to blast sticking points away.

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FR