Social Pancake – Blooming for Success

Don’t fucking give up. That’s how I want to start this post. I’ve noticed lately of the guys I read about or I know are starting to stop going out. A lot of people quit because they’re a few months in and have no results yet. Then they read about other people’s successes who got laid on a bootcamp or closed a girl just few months in the game. They read those stories and become even more demotivated.

FUCK THAT SHIT!!! Dude let me tell you my situation. I have about 7 months of infield experience and around 900 sets under my belt. I went from shy guy to someone who can have conversations with a wide range of people and connect with women. But there were so many nights were I was so out of it and felt like shit. In that time, I closed only one girl. I wasn’t lucky. I saw an opportunity and forced my own luck. Now I’m back here at home chilling and going out. I’m almost 2 months here and I haven’t got laid. Does that stop me? Hell no, I keep going at it.

Just because I don’t see direct result doesn’t mean I’m not improving. Field experience is never a waste of time or effort. What’s better? Sitting at home playing games or going out at a bar? You tell me. Field experience is never a waste of time. Nobody gets worse by keeping opening sets. It’s inevitable, you will get better. Dude, imagine what Mystery had to go through. He had no-one to learn game from in a systematic way and he learned everything himself. He kept going out and pushing. Eventually he got good and guess what….WE CAN DO THE SAME THING!!!

Don’t give me the excuse of “it’s too hard”. Fucking lame excuse. Who ever said it’s easy? Who ever said that mastering a skill is easy? Becoming good at a skill takes effort and time. If I ever read or hear someone quits because “it’s too hard” then that person doesn’t want it bad enough. Then don’t complain when you’re depressed looking for a girl, jack off the whole day on porn, and are paying hookers to satisfy your needs.

Everyone in the community comes from a place of hurt or incompetence. We all strive to get better with women. Put the time into it and it will happen. Just don’t quit.

Just keep going out and you will get better. Some people get better faster than others. It’s a fact of life. Just like some people are naturally more intelligent than you and I. Everyone is on it’s own path. Some will get good in a year, some will take 3 years to get good. Also, we all have different goals. Remember, we have a lifetime to get good. Keep approaching girls and going out, you will become better. WE CAN DO IT!

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Rants

So I just posted my current sticking points, but to highlight a positive thing I wanted to post my strengths. I’ve changed quite a bit after joining the community (gosh sounds almost like a cult, lol) and people who are close to me have noticed that too. Some are happy with other, some aren’t. I’ve learned that I’m slowly cutting those people that aren’t accepting my new improved version of myself. In any case, here are some highlights of strengths of my game now 6 months into the game. Some aren’t directly pickup related, other are. But as most people know, pickup is not about picking up women, it’s about building a life (Mystery). If you don’t realize this, I hope you will soon.

1. Frame control.
2. Comfort game.
3. Winging.
4. Adaptable.
5. Open minded.
6. Leadership.
7. Abundance mentality.

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PUA

My SP 6 months in the game. My focus now is really to master the fundamentals and not trying to work on bits and pieces of some advanced stuff. Master the fundamentals first!
1. AA for 9s and 10s
2. Mixed sets
3. BT spiking and Bantering
4. Big sets (4+)
5. Handling AMOGs and interrupts
6. Getting full isolation
7. Bouncing girls within and out of the venue

With my 3 month program, see my calendar here or on my blog, I want to crush the first 4 sticking points. After I’m done with those, I’m moving up with 5,6,7. After I splat those, I should be a monster :)

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PUA

I’m continuing my posts on my identity. Ever since I’ve got back home I have lots some free time (after working on projects) and some of it is spent thinking a lot. One of the important things on having an identity is having goals. So while I was eating breakfast I was thinking what my goals were. I was supposed to post this a few days ago, but then I really started thinking what my goals were. For the moment, as things always change, these are my goals.

Become wealthy
One of the things I keep telling is that money should never be an obstacle in life. Yes, that’s the perfect world, but in reality it doesn’t work that way. However, having plenty of money will open many doors in life. It should make my life comfortable and give me the opportunity to chase my other dreams.

Having many women in my life
This is definitly a luxury, having many women in my life that I truely like and love. There is something about women that I love. They have bodies that I can appreciate. To be short, I love women. :)

Travelling the world and learning different cultures
I love traveling and learning about different cultures. It has always fascinated me how people do the same things but different. Also just understanding what ticks those people makes everything so interesting. Just having that worldly knowledge appeals to me. Also that adventurous part of traveling kicks ass. I love going to places where I don’t speak the language. It makes things exciting :)

Having different businesses
According to a recent Myers-Briggs test, I’m an ESTJ person, meaning I love being a leader and having control. Yep, that’s pretty accurate. No wonder I love being an entrepreneur and that I started my own business when I was only 16! I want to have several business under my name including:
-Night club and Bar
-Tech company
-Soccer and NBA team
-Investment company

Also, I want to start up a family business. I’m someone who is close with their families and I would love to work together with my parents, siblings, and uncles/aunts to run a multimillion business. This will even bond the family more and the word ‘working’ doesn’t even exist then.

Teaching
With me being a knowledge spunge, meaning I love to absorb knowledge, I also love to share my ideas. Part of being an entrepreneur is sharing your ideas, but I want to take it a step further. I want to teach people about my passions and see them succeed with my teachings. This is so satisfying and something I’ve experienced. I used to do a bit of mentoring for my brothers, helping them out with math and dutch. Whenever I helped them and later one of them would come up to me to tell me they had a good score on the test because of me, that’s fulfilling.

That’s why I am considering to be an pickup instructor. Now I’m really into pickup, I want to be good at it. But I also love spreading my knowledge with my wings, you guys on this blog, and boards. But teaching bootcamps would be cool. I could see myself do it parttime while I’m venturing other businesses on the side. Maybe even fulltime, but I first have to see how fulfilling it is to be an instructor.

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PUA

People who know me can tell you I like to read books. I’m someone who likes to absorb a lot of information and I want to be known as someones who has a lot of knowledge. I have those moments where I’m really into a subject and I start to research it. One of the things I do a lot is looking for books on Amazon on the subject and then order them. Sometimes I order 4/5 books on the same subject, but then I never finish them. Some books I read half-way and then when you want to read them again, you have to start from scratch. I want to fix this problems, because I have a lot of books (10+) that I haven’t read completely. I’m going to make sure to read them before I order any new book. So here are the books I’m going to read till the end of this year.

1. The Way of the Superior Man
2. Sperm Wars
3. The Story Factor
4. How to Win Friends and Influence People
5. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
6. My Secret Garden (have to order)
7. Awaken the Giant Within
8. The Power of Now (I’ve read few weeks ago, but I didn’t get it. Time for reread)

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PUA

I just finished listening to the Love Systems Interview Series on Sticking Points. Braddock, Rokker, and Mr M discuss common sticking points and how to tackle them. They also share some of their SP they had trouble with while learning the art of pickup.

They start off talking about what sticking points are and then go along the emotional progression model discussing common sticking points in each phase. I picked up some nuggets of info that are currently my sticking points. Also you’ll hear what things you can immediatly improve on. I thought I had qualification down, but then I found some gold info on it that I immediatly can fix. One of them is “reward/relate on the right basis of how big the hoop was”.

I believe Jeremy is pretty new to being the interviewer. You can hear him being a bit ‘robotic’ and not having that flow. That’s the only minus I have for the product. The instructors on there were good and I liked what they shared. The audio quality was good and so was the content.

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Reviews

As most of you guys can read on my blog, inner game has becoming more and more important to me. Ever since I joined the community I’ve been solely working on my outer game, and never on my inner game. I still believe you’ll develop inner game and confidence through experience, but there’s a lot you can do to help you improve otherwise. Let me share my story on how pickup should enrich you, not define you. It’s a quote by Mystery that I understand NOW, but not at the time I first heard it almost a year ago.

Now I have to admit that the last couple of months I was pretty unhappy with my lifestyle. My game was getting better and better. Whenever I went out I was seeing improvement, my outer game actually became good. I went from this super shy guy to this sex worthy guy that can connect with women. Next to that I got my first fuck buddy and that was a cougar. Sounds good, right? Still I was unhappy. My inner game was getting better, and so did my confidence. There still was something lacking, lifestyle.

In Dec ‘07 I jumped in and started going out 4 nights a week. That was a good period for me to jump in because I had 2 months off from school, so plenty of time to go out. Then ever since school started in Feb ‘08 I went out 3 nights/week. I was seeing progress, getting makeouts and numbers it was insane. I became obsessed with sarging. I had to go out all the time. My grades weren’t affected, but my business was. For those who don’t know, I have a small web development/internet marketing business where I work with a few friends of mine. The money was good and I had fun doing it….until I became too focussed on game.

Going out 3 nights/week is tough, when you know that I have school and a business to run. Next to that I had to work on my game. So whenever it was thursday, no school on friday, I would go out. My nights were long, starting from somewhere around 8pm till 2.30am. Me and my wings would gather up, discuss tactics and goals for the night and then go out sarge. Then somewhere around 1.30am we would go somewhere to eat and debrief for an hour. By the time it was 3am I was in bed and the next day I would do the same thing. This was exhausting, especially when you do this every week for a few months. It was a drill but I had the drive to do it. I want to become sooooo good at game, that I started sacrificing other parts of my life. Few weeks later I completely lacked motivation to work on my business. My friends were doing most of the work, but I still had to be there to coordinate everything, get new clients, and more. Few more weeks went by and then I called it quits. I stopped working on my business and I started living on my savings. My friends went to work somewhere else and now it was just a one-man business. Meanwhile I lost some clients and they were pissed at me. I wasn’t delivering the work I promised. For some fucked up reason, I didn’t care. I had enough money to live off for the next couple of months, so no worries. Boy, how fucked up was I back then thinking that! At the time I didn’t realize what I was doing, because schoolwork became a bigger priority.

So now it was just school and pickup, while I was living off my savings for the next 4 months. Those four months became more and more depressing. I was getting better at game, but my lifestyle started to become none-existent. Basicly my life looked like this: school, sarging, school. That was it. Every week. School. Sarging. Sleep. School. Cool lifestyle HUH?! It made me depressing the more I started to realize I had no life. Then I saw this episode of Rules of Seduction, where you see I Am The Future, this pickup guy who became obsessed with game. He spent all his money on bootcamps and seminars, but was broke and had no life. Then it clicked, I started to become him. Although I didn’t spend money on seminars/bootcamps, I had no job, spending money going out, and had no lifestyle. EEEEEEK!!!

More weeks went by and I started to realize how shitty my life was at the moment. Also around that time, if you’ve been reading my field reports, I started to get AA and choding around. In my mind I was thinking stuff like “I’m not worth it, I have no lifestyle” or “What’s the use, I can’t keep her around so why approach” all because I knew my lifestyle sucked. Also I wasn’t having fun anymore when I went out, very apparent in my field reports. Then also I saw my money on my bank account nearing zero dollars. It made me more depressing and now I was in a downward spiral. I booked an expensive plane ticket to home just in time, or I would have spent that money on going out, and I would never have been here.

Now being back home I got my mind straight and I’m happy again. I started working again on my business basicly starting from scratch, but I love entrepreneurship. That’s me, taking risks and trying to make it big time. I feel the rush again, but also I know that it’s fulfilling me. Finally I’m doing something again that makes me happy and brings bacon on the table. No longer do I have worries, but also I’m starting to understand the meaning of ‘being in the moment’ after reading The Power of Now. At first I didn’t understand the book at all, but slowly it’s starting to click.

When I get back, I will still work on my game by going out 3 nights/week. However, I now understand I have the responsibility to maintain my business while working on school too. No longer will I just count the days till sarging, but actually be productive and goal oriented. That’s one of the reason I started designing my program for the next 3 months. I know what I’ll be doing so I can schedule my time better and more effective.

It all made me realize that pickup is a beautiful thing, once you can properly integrate it in your life. It shouldn’t define you. That is something Sinn keeps talking about, I’ve seen him speak several times, and one of the things he keeps saying is that having an identity as a PUA is worthless. It’s not attractive it all. At first I was like, “WHOA?!” but I want to get laid. Now I understand. Pickup shouldn’t define you, it should enrich you.
SirSlick 1 Shitty Life 0

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Rants

One of my epiphanies is that the game is always on. Last night I went out with 2 of my buddies and had a great time. I haven’t seen these guys in two years and catching up was fun. So we sit down at a terrace, enjoy the live band and each other’s company.

Then I see two girls seated next to us and they are just gorgeous. Ever since I got back I’m reminded how many beautiful girls my hometown has. I would say on average you see many more cute girls than in LA, but LA has SUPER hot girls. These are scarce here. In any case, I was attracted to one of the girls: blonde, nice big boobs, perfect skin, and beautiful face. As time passes by, I come up with more excuses not too approach. It’s a form of AA, but not that severe. I’m enjoying my time with my buddies, but that was also an excuse. Also since I got back I have the mindset that I don’t have to do approaches, I’m on a break of pickup, and I’m just enjoying my time. But that’s BS, it’s always on!

At the end of the day, what matters is, did I do the approach?

I have this problem for a while now, integrating approaches in my life. I can be social but whenever I don’t say to myself “I’m going to do X approaches today” then I sure won’t do any approaches. For some reason I always have set out that I need to approaches before I leave the house. I don’t want that. Whenever and wherever I see a girl I’m attracted to, I should just do the approach. Then a phrase of seldomseen came up, that I saw on the Attraction Forums:

Rejection > Regret

So true. Also what Sinn says, if you really want to become good at this, all that matters is ‘did you do the approach’.

For next time, just say Hi to the girl and that’s it. One step at a time.

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PUA

So last night this big event started in my hometown, it’s called the “Summer parties” (literally translated). Basicly there are big outdoor events going on downtown and people from all over the country come over and just enjoy their summer with live bands, drinks, and more drinks. People in the Netherlands love to drink.

I set a goal of just approaching 5 sets, not expecting too much. Just approach, make small talk, and just be social. Me and my buddies are sitting in this cafe and they’re telling me they’re horny. They’re looking for girls. Now my buddies are naturals, but they don’t do cold approaches. They all get laid through their social circle and are super social. But cold approaches is something they can’t do.

I see a 2set sitting down at this terrace (typically Europe, hardly any real terrace spots in LA) and I tell my buddies I’ll approach them and see where it goes. However there was a twist: I was going to pretend to be from LA visiting my buddies (I actually am) but as an American. Just for fun. So I go in, ask them what the good spots are, FTC as I sit down, and do canned The Game stuff for self-amusement. Nobody here has game, and better yet no one knows the book. So I sit there for a while chatting with them and then another buddy of mine sees me and greets me, in Dutch. I keep talking English to him and my other buddies inform him that it’s an act. Few more minutes pass by and I start seeding a bounce. Then more friends of the target comes and it becomes a 7set, all girls. I try to be the leader of the group by letting everyone introduce themselves to me. Then I pull the bounce and my buddies tag along.

What I noticed is that even though it’s an outdoor festival with loud music and it’s during the evening, it’s still not bar/club game where you can kino like a disease. It’s still day game. Also the seating made it hard to kino, so while I was bouncing the set I started slowly kino escalating.

Really,re-iterating every routine of The Game on those girl was so funny. I always do it when I want to amuse myself. Also in LA I’ll do it to just get caught and get called out, it puts me in state. But here I just amuse myself and somewhat ‘tricking’ those girls. This whole act made my buddies laught the whole night. The stories were all real, it bit modified, but all true. My target, the one on the left, was attracted to me and I started isolating her from her friends. By the time we were at the venue, it was packed so we decided to stay outside and mingle with everyone.

So I got the girl isolated and started running my basic comfort stuff of theREDstack. I try to go for the kiss, but she is uncomfortable with all those people around. I understand and just keep talking and finally got her number.

After she and her friend left we and my buddies went to do some more approaches after they were thrilled me hooking sets on the street. I mean, nobody in my hometown, meets an American so that kind of made it really easy. The whole night I just pretended to be the tourist and it was just too easy. It was fun, but people have to like me for the real me, not some act I put up. But still, it was fun :)

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PUA

I just wanted to let you guys know that I’ll be attending londonsoul’s, Love Systems instructor, day game lair talk for the Socal lair.

Day game….hmm where should I start. I have a love/hate relationship with it. When I first started out I was actually doing day game. Me and Maui would go to the mall every week for a month and do approaches. But doing approaches once a week is really not enough, so we basicly opened sets and that was it. Somehow I didn’t have any AA back then. Then I got into night game and I started doing that for 3 months straight. I got better and then I did some day game again with Rince and I got my first day game #close. I was so proud, #closing was easy at night, but during the day I had a curse. Also I started doing direct game for the day, I find it more effective. When I get back, I’ll be doing night game a lot, but I’ll make sure I’ll do some day game too to keep it up.

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