Progress can feel directionless
Do you sometimes feel like there is no point in learning pickup? You go out a lot and practice, but still you’re not getting laid. You start to feel like it is impossible getting laid. Random thoughts start to pop up like “I need money to get girls” or “I am just not good looking enough”. Or one of my personal favorites, “I will never be able to date white girls.” Mind you I’m Asian.
Bullshit. These are just inner game issues you need to work on. I can totally relate why sometimes it feels directionless. You think you’re not making progress, but the fact is you probably are. You just don’t realize it and you are unaware of it.
For me, about half a year ago I started to doubt myself. I was on a dry spell and I was out on getting some new girls. So I went out a lot. Sometimes 4 times a week while in school and running a business. I kept approaching and approaching, but I would always end up with nothing. Sure, I had some makeouts, phone numbers, and dates but still no sex. It was so frustrating.
Sometimes when you’re out, you’re in “state” and “on fire” where everything is clicking. Don’t you just love those nights? You feel invincible and everything is going smooth. Then you become outcome oriented and notice you didn’t have any sex. You begin to doubt yourself again.
Sometimes you’re on fire, sometimes you’re a wallflower. You get a lay. You feel happy and validated. Then you don’t get any, and you feel like there is no direction. Again, you begin to question yourself.
These are really inner game issues. You put too much emphasis on “getting laid”. While I do think it is healthy to have some sex in your life, “getting laid” should not be your end goal. It will make the journey really bumpy and you will realize that after fucking a few girls that “getting laid” is really not that big of a deal. You make it a big deal if you’re not getting any.
Also, for me, I said to myself that I needed to be good with women before a certain time. If I wasn’t, then I wasn’t good enough. Even more bullshit. There is no rush. You don’t need to be successful with women within a certain amount of time. If you put in the effort, success will come. If you don’t do anything about it, well guess what….you won’t get any. Sometimes when you’re in the game for a while with little success, it will feel directionless. But just plow through it. Keep going out. Even when you feel like there is no point, keep going out. A night out is NEVER a waste of time. Even if you just did one approach, that’s better than sitting at home doing nothing or playing video games or jacking off to porn.
If you feel directionless, that is actually a good sign. It means you are putting in the effort, are making progress and you are better off than you were before you got into the game. But I cannot stress enough how important it is to have goals. If you don’t know what you want to achieve, then how are you supposed to know where you are in the process? If you don’t know what your goals are, then yes, you will feel directionless. You don’t know where you are because you have no goal(s).
Lets say that your goal is getting a girlfriend. Perfectly normal goal. If you are getting phone numbers and dates, but no sex yet, is that better than the situation you were in before? Most likely yes. It might be frustrating you can’t close, but the fact that you realize your current situation is better than it was in the past should put a face on your smile.
As soon as I realized that I was making progress and that my situation was better than it was before, my game took off. It was just making a click in my head that boosted my progress and results. So trooper, make that switch and keep going out. You will get what you want.
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