Social Pancake – Blooming for Success

It’s Monday and I’m still recovering from the bootcamp that took place the last couple of days. Today I had to skip school because I was too tired. I think it was better to give myself some rest than to kill myself over some boring lectures.

So The Don and Braddock were teaching. Braddock refined his teaching style and I really liked it a lot. The two usually teach different parts of the model and this was the first time for me to see Braddock teach attraction. I was pleasantly surprised with his stuff and loved it very much. Learned a ton of new stuff on attraction. It took him around 3,5 hours to teach attraction. Good stuff.

The students did really good and really pushed themselves. Another weekend of successful men have changed. It still surprises me sometimes why some people just are not successful with women, while they are really successful people.

During the seminar I was working on some of my stuff related to my job. As I was answering some emails, out of nowhere Braddock asks me if I want to teach physical escalation. Not knowing that I had to teach something, I said “Of course!” This was the first time for me to teach during the seminar and I was actually really nervous. I had to read the notes of Braddock on physical escalation so they didn’t make much sense to me, so I went just with the flow. First ten minutes was a bit rough but after that I was relaxed and calm. It just reminded me that I need to start teaching more. I mean I know the stuff, but actually explaining and teaching it is a different ball game.

I can’t wait to go to other bootcamps in different cities. I hope to help out in a Chicago and NYC bootcamp. I’ve heard only good things about them and I want to visit the cities myself too.

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Yesterday I went to a networking event in Hollywood. Right after work I walked over and I was pleasantly surprised with the ratio of men and women. It’s wasn’t a sausage factory as I initially expected, so that was good.

I went there as a “dating coach” instead of “affiliate manager”. Even though I’m both, I thought the former was more interesting and it’s something I’m a lot more passionate about at this point of my life.

My first thought was that talking to girls at this type of parties was going to be easy in the initial phase of the interaction. I mean, it’s a networking event after all. So people are supposed to talk to each other and you can just go up with “Hi what do you do?”. But that was kind of dangerous too. It was like hired gun game where you initially already have the frame set (networking). So my tactic was to break out of that frame as soon as possible by teasing the girl a lot and leading the conversation. Instead of taking a business card, you want to take down the cell number of the girl.

After some warming up I saw this 2set of brunettes. Both hot and one of them was very tall, like 5′11-ish. Of course I went after that one first ;) I always like to point the obvious and flip the script, so I opened her with “You are very short…” and just took it from there. I did ask her what she did but then immediately took over the conversation.

The thing is that being a dating coach was a good identity to have at that party. I never got the impression that girls thought I was a player or casanova or something like that, but partly has to due how I dress and carry myself.

So this 2set was immediately into me. Initially we talked about body language and how it related to sales but I also explained how it works for dating. From that moment on, I just kept talking about being an instructor (Disclaimer: I’m not officially an instructor yet at LS, but I’m getting there) and how much I loved my job. But the cool thing was I could be really genuine about my job and really show my passion. I honestly I never thought I’ve displayed so much passion and drive before ever. It’s really weird, but these girls totally got my vibe. That feeling I had of being understood, it was something I really never felt before. It’s really hard for people to really ‘get me’. Even for friends I’ve known for a long time, they do not always get me. But that feeling of being TRUELY understood is something a girl needs to feel too and that’s where tight qualification game comes in. Now I understand what it feels like to be understood and I realize how important qualification REALLY is.

These girls were also very goal oriented and focused on their careers. They shared the same viewpoints on school, career, life, dating, and so many other topics. When I kept talking about WHY and how MUCH I loved my job as an instructor, I could just pour out and they totally loved it. I honestly never felt so much understood by a girl before. Honestly, not even by my best friend. She had to learn it over a couple of years, but these girls, especially the tall one, we just connected instantaneously.

I mean, I’ve went out a lot and met plenty of girls. Most of them were cool people, sometimes airheads, sometimes just clueless. But these were actually REALLY cool and were totally my lost sisters. We already established that I was their lost brother and they were my sisters from another mother.

But what I found the most interesting was that when I ran my REAL qualification stuff, things I want in a long-term girlfriend, they totally matched. Usually in a club or bar I’ll ask dirty qualification compliance things like “what’s your favorite ninja turtle / secret super power” just to run qualification to advance myself. Not on these girls of last night, especially the tall one. I basicly screened her on all my qualification stuff and she was just perfect. Like, really perfect. I never felt so much connected to someone before.

I remember Soul telling me a while ago that passion also reduced flaking. If you can demonstrate passion to a girl where she really feels that and can relate to it, she will not flake on you. Last night was just the perfect example of that. Of course I moved the girls around and all that but the level of passion that we shared definitely made everything stick.

So what’s the point of this post? There are girls like those 2 out there. I honestly never met a girl before who really understood me in such a short period of time. Like, I’m still baffled. These were the girls I got in the game for. Hot and totally understanding me. Gosh, these girls are so awesome. We’re planning to go out again soon together.

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The best way to get a 10 is to be a 10.

I can’t remember who said this to me, but it had me thinking lately. One of the reasons I’ve started studying dating science was that I wanted to have a girlfriend who is my absolute TEN. She’s physically a 10 and personality wise too. At this point I can honestly say I’ve not fucked a TEN yet, but my search still goes on. Physically I’ve seen 10s but I’ve not dated one yet.

One of my wings, Dee, said this to me the other day: “You are someone’s ten.” He’s saying that, even though I’m at a stage of my life where I try to improve my overall life, I’m already someone’s perfect guy. I just don’t know it and I haven’t met her yet. It’s like in Swingers where Trent (Vince Vaughn) says “You’re so money and you don’t even know it!” This is a really good frame to have and I’ve adopted ever since he and I have been talking about it. That doesn’t necessary mean that the girl is a 10, but it will make you realize that you’re fine the way you are already. There’s only room for more improvement.

So I want a girl who is my ten. Wouldn’t it only be fair if I was her ten? “You want the woman of your dreams so you have to be the man of her dreams.” Again, I can’t remember who told me this but that has really hit me lately. I’ve been working on all areas of my life the last couple of months. The trip back home in summer 08 has really cleaned up a lot of shit in my life. I rebuilt my business (I recently sold it to really focus on school and my current job at Love Systems), have a great job, and a great social life.

I remember Savoy telling me at the first LA bootcamp where I helped out, not too long ago, that I should work on only 9s and 10s. For some reasons he could tell I was not getting any of those type of girls, which is totally true. I’ve fucked some ugly girls, average girls, and good looking girls. But not really a girl where I could say: DAMN SHE IS SUPER HOT. Also right now I don’t feel like getting another average or good looking girl. I really want those super hot girls. At this point I feel I deserve one of them.

In a post by Rokker on The Attraction Forums, he wrote about gaming 9s and 10s. I quote:

The real key to gaming 9’s and 10’s is in your head. You see, when people say that getting hot girls isn’t harder – just different – that ASSUMES a few things; most importantly that you also consider yourself to have the same value as the girl. This is vital… if you for one second doubt that you don’t have as much value as the girl or don’t deserve the girl (and let that show) it’s game over. YOU GOT TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE HER.

In that topic I posted, May 13 2008, that I didn’t feel like I deserved a ten. Now that I have a lot of problems fixed in my life, I really feel like I deserve a 9 or a 10. It took me about 10 months to make that switch, but who cares. Time is not an issue (I’ve written about that in my post “progress can feel directionless”) When Savoy told me that piece of advice, I wanted to go for it at the time, but deep down inside I didn’t feel like I really deserved a super hot girl. Now is a different story.

Jokingly, I’ve written down on my online signatures and online profiles: “I am $$$” It just really reflects how I see myself now :)

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Part I is here.

So right now it’s just all attraction and attraction. Now my idea is to also build a bit of comfort by interspersing it with some regular “AFC” texts to keep it normal. Now my transition was really bad, but it did it’s job. Urgghh…still bad when I read this :)

(2 hours later)
Me: Hehehe respect. What have you been up to lately?
Her: Just got out from body scrub & oil massage :D treat for myself <3 it's good. U should try it :P
Me: Ooooh nice. You can do it on me sometime. All my 7 wives can't do that so I could use a 8th wife who can rub my back ;)
Her: Too bad that I don't do it by myself. I'll introduce u the place I go in ktown, ok? ;)
Me: It better not be a happy ending place
Her: Haha u r funny

She's not complying and I think it's due to the 2 hours that passed. I was hoping she said that she would rub my back, but instead she gives me a recommendation. Not necessary a bad thing, but not what I was shooting for. But she still likes the texting so I can proceed.

Again, after some "comfort" (for lack of better word) I go back into attraction again to keep it up. Again super obvious and just being funny. My definition of comfort in the context of text game is that she has some glimpse of my life. So it can be just one line where I said that I just came back class or whatever. Anything where she will find out more about me and is not "gamey".

Next day
Me: I just made you look at your phone for no reason...looks like I got you in check =]
Her: Believe or not i do more stuff w/o any reason lol so this doesn't bother me at all ;)
Me: You're such a goofball. What are you plans this week. I have something exciting going on, but only for cool people.
Her: Im kinda busy this week....is next week ok for u?
Me: That works. Please leave your tears and drama at home ok? :)
Her: Big girls don't cry ok? Haha when do wanna go next week?
Me: Hehe. Thursday works for me.
Her: Ok

Again I re-initiate with something funny and start building momentum, because I was planning to take her out. I don't text out of nowhere "what are you doing next week?" but first something else and then slowly into the interaction I'll find out what her schedule is like. So I ask her that and basicly ask her out. Now the last part is important of "but only for cool people". It's there to soften the blow if she doesn't want to go, and I totally stole the idea from dahunter in his distractor post on TAF. I don't ask it in a yes/no question to avoid any awkwardness. I already called her a goofball and if she can't go out, she can banter back out it and subtexting that she can't go. But in this case she just straight up says she can't go. But she is the one who wants to set a date, so it's probably legit that she is busy, and is still interested.

3 days later
Me: If grannies keep driving dangerously on the roads I might have to intervene some day! How's your day?
Her: Midterms & papers are killing me :S How's your day?
Me: Poor little girl. My day is awesome. Just got myself a nice home made pad Thai cooked by moi *so proud*
Her: Wow u cook? Impressive :) I wanna learn how to cook thai food too >.<
Me: You can’t cook? That’s it…I’m filing for divorce. I’ll keep the money and house, you keep the 6 kids.
Her: I cook but I dont cook thai food :( dont forget to pay the reparation lol
Me: Oh you CAN cook. I like that :) Forget about the divorce then. Lets trade services. You cook me sushi, I’ll eat your food. Fair? :)
Her: Im filing for divorce! Japanese dont cook sushi at home!

Basicly I re-initiate contact with something funny and random thing. I set it up knowing that I will throw in a cooking / divorcing roleplay. Something Braddock taught me: “ask the questions you want to answer.” Ever since I’ve adopted that, I always have things to say in set or know a few steps ahead what my moves are in any situation. Pretty money. The rest is standard role playing. Did I tell you I like role playing?

Also, my day is always cooler than hers. I’m always cooler than her. I like keeping that mindset and interactions that way, where I’m always cooler than the girl.

At this point I did overkill the whole roleplaying. Like way too much. But still she is playing along, so I guess I’ll just keep pushing it.

4 days later
This is a text routine I’ve been using a lot lately and has always worked great. I call it the “call the occupation” routine, where I basicly pretend to be calling her at her job and talking to her. This girl works for an insurance company, so pretend to talk to her with some callback humor about my butt.

Me: *ring ring* Hi I’m [name] and I would like to talk to an insurance representative for my butt.
Her: Please choose the option: 1 payment. 2 claim. 3 customer service.
Me: *pressed 3*
Her: How can I help you?
Me: I think I have a date with a crazy Japanese girl this Thursday and I want to precaution my butt against any spanking. Should I add accident coverage?
Her: U need to add accidental coverage and I would recommend u to add towing coverage with covers the ambulance expense
Me: That’s going to be an expensive date. Could you look up her records for me? Her name is [name]. Description: pretty face, slim and sexy body, and a huge nerd.
Her: Hesitate to tell u but….U need to be really careful. She is on the blacklist.
Me: Hmmm….I’ll take my chance. She might be worth it. Thanks for the customer support. Bye.

So this routine is pretending you calling her on the job and talking about the girl in 3rd person. Also I gave her a compliment. I usually don’t do that, especially not physically, but I gave it a shot. I’m not sure what her response means to it, but she keeps playing along that she will hurt the innocent virgin. I’m also letting her know that she hasn’t completely won me over with that last sentence.

Day of the date
Me: Hey are we still on for tonight?
Her: Yes 9 rite?
Me: Yeah. See you then.

Couple hours later
Her: Im leaving my place now.

And so we went on a date. Basicly on the day of the date I always text to see if the date is still on. If she’s gonna flake, might as well find out early so I can make new plans.

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Part II is here.

My first text-game breakdown! By no means am I an expert on text game, but I have experimented a lot with it. Last couple of months I’ve switched to text-game only to keep in contact with girls, to keep numbers warm, and to get girls out on dates. This is just to work on my text game, because I’m comfortable calling girls. Right now I just call girls when they are in my social circle.

Anyway, after seeing Formhandle talk on text game and he liked my text game, I’ve decided to post up a conversation that’s from the beginning all the way to the date.

Background: I met this girl through another friend and the second time I met her was at a big dinner party. We sat next to each other (smooth move by me) and I grabbed her phone, called my number, and programmed my number as “Charming [name]“.

During the dinner party we started texting.

Me: Do you speak text?
Her: Yeah :))
Me: Cool. You’ve earned +1 point.
Her: LOL!
Me: Compatibility test: chocolate or vanilla? Shower or bath? Bonus Q: favorite ninja turtle?
Her: Haha chocolate and bath. Donatello ofc!!
Me: -2.
Her: Haha whatev!

So I just start with a canned one-liner that never disappoints. I like using a point system with girls to get them qualify themselves and subtext a screening vibe. I continue doing this with the compatibility test (credit Savoy) but I used it in another context than Savoy does. So I throw out some hoops and she jumps through all of them. Now normally you always reward good behavior, but no matter what the girl answers, I always play it off like she loses me. Not sure if it’s the right thing to do, but seems to be working for me. I think because if you already have that flirty vibe, it works.

We split off at the party and somewhere around 00:30am I text her to see if she is down to fuck.

Me: I just woke you up ;P

I’ve only tried this text once and it worked, but I want to test it more. Basicly, if the girl responds pretty fast I call her up and figure out if she is DTF. If not, maybe she is already asleep, it gives her a reason to text me back so we can continue texting. This was really a shot in the dark with her, I had no idea if she wanted to fuck or not. But I’m always up for experimenting. In this case she didn’t text back till the next morning.

Her: too bad u didn’t wake me up :P
Me: But you did wake me up. I hate you :)
Her: I thought u r having a lunch that was perfect timing, wasn’t it? :P
Me: Noooo! I don’t know who your boyfriend was….but he did not spank you enough!
Her: Hahaha spanks don’t work on me LOL
Me: Uh oh….I don’t want to know what you hide in your closet. I can’t handle whips and chains.
Her: Didn’t know japanese is hardcore? Still got a lot to learn boy ;)
Me: You’re right. My butt has insurance and it’s against the policy to get whipped by little innocent japanese girls.
Her: Please add the accident coverage on ur insurance then u will be fine ;) that covers for people do extreme sports <3

Basicly I do a lot of fantasy roleplaying in my text. A lot. Sometimes it’s too much and over the top, but I’m still experimenting with it. Some girls totally dig it, others play along for a little bit and then just go back to normal. I still need to find some calibration in this, but this girls eats it up.

“I hate you :)” basicly means “I like you”. I like to set early on that we’re flirting over text, so first I did the screening thing and now I basicly give her a SOI. So whenever we continue texting, it’s on and flirty.

The classic spanking line. I almost use this every time somewhere in my text to sexualize it a little bit early on. Also in every text the girl is always the sexual aggressor and I’m just an innocent virgin and little boy. In this case, the girl is couple years older and she already teased me about being younger. So she does that again and it’s sort of a test. So I run with it and just make it absurd by saying that can’t hurt my butt. But the thing is that I know this girl works for an insurance company, so I always try to make my teases and roleplays relevant to their hobbies or jobs. The concepts and frames are always the same, just a little adjusted to each girl.

2 days later
Me: Hey dork we have a serious problem
Her: What problem sir?
Me: I took a pregnancy test….it’s yours.
Her R u sure? U shoulda take dna test
Me: I was an innocent virgin before you came along. Just face it! You have to pay me child support!
Her: I was innocent too u think u r the only one lost something? Im so disappointed…
Me: You were the one who got me drunk! I just want to make sure daddy is paying! I need the money to buy me some MAC and gucci bag.
Her: Talk to my lawyer! I don’t remember what happened! I don’t pay for something i don’t remember!

Key to roleplays is that they are super obvious. If they are not obvious, then they aren’t as fun. Also, role reversals are money and make them obvious. Even though she played along, reading this makes me think I could improve my text game little bit from above. Any suggestions are welcome.

Also, every time I re-initiate with a girl, it always starts off with a role play that I’ve planned out. So in this case, it’s the pregnancy role play and how she will have to pay child support and so on. It’s a way to build momentum and get her invest in me. Investment is important. The more a girl invests in you, the more she will value you. This will build more compliance and so on.

Another thing, mirroring is also important. If I send a long text and she replies with an one-word answer, she’s not complying as much as hoped. So in that case I also respond with something short. But if she responds with some long answer too, it’s on.

Timing of texts is also important. I almost never immediately respond. I take my time to respond and come up with some analysis and some contingencies. I like to think a few steps ahead. So if I sent a text, and she responds 1 minute later, I’ll usually text back within 15 minutes or so. That way you can banter back and forth to keep that momentum up. But if it takes her to text back 2 or 3 hours, I’ll wait just as long to text her back. I will definitely not text back any sooner than it took her to reply.

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If there is one thing you need to be good with women, then it’s a thorough understanding of female psychology. If you really understand it, then you will understand why certain routines or methods work.

I remember the first time when I heard about female psychology and that was when Savoy was doing a talk on it at a lair. Honestly, I was blown away. I just started off with studying dating science so I knew very little about female psychology. Then Savoy really explained in depth how women think and behave. It was totally the opposite of what I knew and what other sources have taught me. It was definitely eye-opening.

Ever since then I had a much better understanding of game. So if you’re just starting out with game, learn female psychology first.

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I experience this cycle quite a lot. As soon I get bored of something, I move on to different areas of the game. So right now, I feel like club game is getting a bit bored (again). Maybe it’s because I’ve been going out a lot in the past. I would go to clubs 3 or 4 times a week. I remember in the beginning that going to the club was supposed to be “awesome”. I would always shower before I’m out the door and get all pumped. Now it’s becoming routine that I don’t care to shower or getting pumped up. So I either do something about that (which I should) to make the club experience fun again or I’m going to focus on other areas. So as of now whenever I go to a club, I do my old rituals again. Shower, loud music, and drinks before going out.

Right now I’m doing a lot of day game, social circle game, and stripper game. Basicly I’m working on all parts of game that will ultimately give me a cool lifestyle. I especially like social circle game. It’s slowly paying off the dividends after months of work. But I still need to expand it to a point where it’s so big that I can’t handle it anymore. Give me about a year or so.

What I like about day game right now is the low energy and the conversations I can have with women. It’s much easier than club game and I like having interesting conversations once a while :) Also going on instant dates and getting on dates is something I want to do a lot more now. I’m in a place right now where I focus on my school and career, especially the latter. Going to clubs just takes too much energy out of me that I’d rather funnel to some productive work. I’m not saying I’m going to stop going out at night, but just a little less. But when I do go to a club, it’s going to be BIG.

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Rants

In my post of “Solo February” I committed myself to go out solo for the whole month of February. Did it happen? Not really.

I started off going solo to strip clubs and bars, but then school came in that killed my time. In fact, I’ve been complaining to everyone that I haven’t been out much. The times I did go out, was to catch up with friends or going to some social event with friends. So actually I didn’t actually do any “sarging”. On the other hand, I fucked some new girls this month while I was super busy. So all in all, it was a decent month. But still, I want to go more solo and work on my SNL game. Also, I’m going to start to frequent this one bar in Pasadena where I want to get tight with the staff. That one bar is going to be MY spot, so I’ll be visiting it a lot on off-hours and work it. What’s on for March. No idea. Right now I’m really focused on working on my inner game and career. More on that another time.

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