Social Pancake – Blooming for Success

This is something that has been on my mind for a while. I like to see “game” as a lifestyle where beautiful women are naturally attracted to. Not just being able to pull a girl every night you can, but where you live a life where you are really happy (health, wealth, relationships).

Sometimes I think people are too caught up with going out every night and trying to improve their skillset. I do think it’s the fastest way to improve your dating life by going out a lot and practice. You will get kisses, phone numbers, lays, and so on. I understand some people want to take care of this part of their life as soon as possible by doing it within a certain amount of time. Once that’s taken care of, other areas of life will be taken care of.

Take for example school. You are a student with good grades. You discover the seduction community and you start going out a lot, like 4/week. Your grades go down, but at least you improve your dating life bit by bit. Is it worth it? Depends of course per person. I personally would rather have a lower GPA and have a cool life, than have a 4.0 with a shitty life. But if you can have a 4.0 and a cool life, that’s even better.

What I’m trying to say is try to balance everything. If you are a 4.0 student, but your dating life sucks, then try to keep that 4.0. But gradually start to incorporating ways you can improve your dating life WHILE keeping that 4.0. I still regret the times where I dropped responsibilities for going out. My grades went down a bit, I lost clients, and friends because I wanted to improve my success with women. Some might say that you have to sacrifice certain things to achieve a goal. I now realize that you can improve your success with women while maintaining the success you have in other areas and without losing other responsibilities. Now I don’t kick myself anymore for doing other things than going out to practice game. This doesn’t mean that you should stop going out or use this as an excuse for not going out.

If you are doing something that will help you in anyway, please by all means do it. Jacking off or staying at home doing nothing does not count. But if you have a project due within a short amount of time and you will be working on it instead of going out, that counts. Again, there has to be a balance for this. If you keep doing this for 4 weeks straight with zero approaches, then you are just making excuses for yourself not to go out.

Learning game is like a marathon, not a sprint. You will have plenty of time to improve your life and it does not have to happen within a certain amount of time. Put in the effort and success will come.

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Rants

I experience this cycle quite a lot. As soon I get bored of something, I move on to different areas of the game. So right now, I feel like club game is getting a bit bored (again). Maybe it’s because I’ve been going out a lot in the past. I would go to clubs 3 or 4 times a week. I remember in the beginning that going to the club was supposed to be “awesome”. I would always shower before I’m out the door and get all pumped. Now it’s becoming routine that I don’t care to shower or getting pumped up. So I either do something about that (which I should) to make the club experience fun again or I’m going to focus on other areas. So as of now whenever I go to a club, I do my old rituals again. Shower, loud music, and drinks before going out.

Right now I’m doing a lot of day game, social circle game, and stripper game. Basicly I’m working on all parts of game that will ultimately give me a cool lifestyle. I especially like social circle game. It’s slowly paying off the dividends after months of work. But I still need to expand it to a point where it’s so big that I can’t handle it anymore. Give me about a year or so.

What I like about day game right now is the low energy and the conversations I can have with women. It’s much easier than club game and I like having interesting conversations once a while :) Also going on instant dates and getting on dates is something I want to do a lot more now. I’m in a place right now where I focus on my school and career, especially the latter. Going to clubs just takes too much energy out of me that I’d rather funnel to some productive work. I’m not saying I’m going to stop going out at night, but just a little less. But when I do go to a club, it’s going to be BIG.

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Rants

Pfoe…..I did some day game yesterday. And I didn’t go out at night to some bar or club. After the bootcamp of last week, I was pretty much tired. I didn’t feel like going out to some loud venue and driving to Hollywood, so I decided to hang out with some friends over food and movies both friday and saturday night. My social circle is still alive and kicking, although everyone in it knows I’m very busy. That reminds me I need to start capitalize on some of the girls in there. 3-4 girls are ready to go, but I’m just so busy that I didn’t have the time to set something up and get it going on. For some strange reason, they keep hanging around every time I’m super busy and never show up for their parties, meetings, or whatever. But I really have to start fucking them one by one while I can.

Every since working for Love Systems I’ve been working my ass of there. I have my own stuff going on there and do my job there, but then I also help out at bootcamps whenever I can. Combine this with school and you got yourself a busy guy! But that’s good though. Ever since I got rid my TV, I free’d a lot of time for more useful things. I occasionally watch TV, on my laptop, and the shows I miss now are being downloaded the next day. That way I allocate my time really efficient.

So career-wise it’s booming for me. After like 4 months working there I got promoted. It’s funny how I hear around me how some people got laid off or don’t have a job because of the economy. Man, for me it’s the total opposite. I’ve worked my ass off and I got rewarded, not in cash, more than I could expect. Right now my focus is my career, which is working out very well. I realized that becoming a high value guy is hard work. I cannot see myself as someone who is broke and has a shitty lifestyle to be banging hot girls. I do not want to end up like I Am The Future ;) Also now that I have the opportunity to grow, I have to grab it with both hands. So pickup is a little bit on the slow burner right now for me. I will be keeping going out, but my main focus now is getting my career in perfect shape.

It’s funny how this is reflected in my sets. Now I talk about my career the whole time, how I love my job, and the bright future I see ahead of me. Girls are loving it when they see I have that passion. Although saying that you want to become a dating coach is a bad idea though. I had to find out the hard way, so now I’m framing it as a public speaker or life coach. I get better reactions with life coach though.

Day game yesterday wasn’t that great. I didn’t do it for a while and I didn’t prepare anything to work on. It resulted in lots of opening and bit of attraction, but the rest was very stale. I need to prepare my stuff before going out again. Right now I want to focus on my day game. I don’t feel like going out at night with me being so busy so I’d rather do my approaches whenever I need to be out of the house. Even though one might be really busy, that’s not an excuse to not do any approaches.

So right now life is looking good :) I feel a lot better with everything in place. Now I just need to hit the gym too and get a new harem of dates with day game.

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Rants

We’re already 3 weeks in 2009 but I still needed to post a rant. I put up some Kylie Minogue music and here we go….. So today is MLK day and my day off which I really needed. I just finished a bootcamp with Braddock and The Don and it was fun! I’ve helped out at two bootcamps and I always learn new things from the students, instructors, and myself. The more I do this, the more I find out I really want to become an instructor and help others out on improving their game.

Another thing is me racking up some same night lays. I’m damn close to consistently pulling girls out of the venue now. I’ve been practicing a lot on my attraction game and that has made my pickups so much better that I could move and bounce girls out of the venue pretty consistent. So now that I can get girls to bounce out of the venue, the next logical step is work out the logistics to the lay. That’s going to be my focus now. Right now I’m a lot more aggressive and assertive in set which led to faster escalation. My touching is more sensual and sexual, but also girls now realize that I’m a sexual threat when they talk to me. These were sticking points on my bootcamp in Oct 08 and slowly I’m crushing these. I mean I always was escalating both physically and verbally (not logistically) but it was very slow and gradual. Now it’s a lot faster and riskier. I’ve lost plenty of sets lately because I was too aggressive, but it’s better to lose girls by being to aggressive than being to passive.

Okay my attraction, state and intrigue based, is pretty good now. Now I need to work on my qualification. Plenty of girls have giving me infield feedback which screamed “you didn’t qualify me so I’m saying this” but because I was solely working on attraction I’ve lost a lot of girls like that. So I’m going to put a game plan into action on this very seriously.

Other than that, nothing is new. Oh yeah one more thing. For the Magic Nuggets we setup a competition for Valentine’s day. The one(s) who do not have a date ON valentine’s day will have to go out 7 days in a row (each time at least 2 hrs). The ones who do have a date, just need to have a good time :)

So that means I’m more likely to do some day game. Also Soul is coming to LA in 3 weeks to do a day game workshop, which I’m attending, so I definitely want to hit some sticking points before I attend and of course for Valentines day.

I’m sort of seeing this one girl I met a while back. We went on a date, which was to me horrible because it was a dinner date (long story short, I fucked up setting up the date) but she loved the conversation. All in all, she wants to see me again some time. I’m already in the “potential BF” category so I need to work around that. But we’ll see where it goes from there.

Over and out!

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Rants

I just got home from a Saturday night. I wasn’t supposed to go out tonight to the clubs but I ended up doing it. Before I arrived at the club I was hanging out with some friends over dinner. However that is not what this post is about. Lately I’m getting really lazy when it comes to pickup. One of my goals is to become an instructor and at the rate I’m going now this not going to happen this year. Or maybe it does, but I really feel like I’m not progressing that fast anymore.

Like tonight, I approached maybe 4 sets in the two hours I was there. That’s ridiculous. I just cannot explain what it is. The night before, where I was planning to bounce a girl, I did 3 sets. This happened both at the same venue where I know a lot of the staff. It makes me really comfortable, but maybe too comfortable. I feel like I don’t have to approach that much anymore. I’m thinking of stopping going to that venue and start rotating venues on a regular basis. I’m sure I’ll come back there once a while, just not twice a week anymore.

Part of this is also I think the chemistry with my wing. My main wing D is more doing his own thing now, which I totally respect. He’s getting a lot out of it and it has taken his game up a notch. The thing is that we don’t do any damage in the field TOGETHER. He used to be a wing I could count on in sets but now I cannot. He does his own thing and now I need other wings that I don’t always hangout with.

Last night was an example. Me and my girl were on and we were laying down the logistics of bouncing and possibly more. But my wing, a former bootcamp student, lost his girl which led to the breakup of my set. Now I don’t blame him at all but if that was my wing, someone I know I can count on and know what I can expect, I could go over it with him in detail and prevent that from happening in the future. I would rather have these mistakes made by a wing I go out with regularly than a wing I _sometimes_ hangout with.

So at one point I feel like I am progressing. One instructor noticed I have advanced over the last couple of months, and at some points I do feel like I advanced. I’m a lot more playful, better at teasing, and state based attraction is something I control now. Right now I still want to work on my overall attraction game and the transition into some advanced qualification stuff I’ve learned recently. I also bounce girls around the venue now pretty consistently and isolating girls from their friends. I couldn’t do all this just 2 months ago, so yes I am making strides.

But still I feel like a missing chemistry with a wing. I want a wing I can do some serious damage with. Like, if I see a 2set then I know that they can be pulled 100% with my wing. Our dynamic is so strong and fluid that we can read each other’s mind on what’s going to happen next. It’s like Mystery & Matador or Savoy and Sinn. I’m pretty sure when they go out together they are in sync when they do a set. Right now I feel like I am missing that. I haven’t talked to my wing D about this yet, so I feel uncomfortable posting this online before I talked to him about this. Either way, I’m going to start hanging out more with Quick. He is my age and so we could do well at college parties, since we both go to school. Also, if I can get along with him well then we can be the next Savoy and Sinn infield.

Another thing that might cause the lack of approaching is me having an BIG ego. Sometimes I feel like I’m superior because I work for the biggest dating company in the world. It makes me think I have some sort of entitlement that I don’t have to do the hard work. It feeds my ego of “mr pua”. And this is all BS I don’t need. It really feeds my ego and that is something I realized just yet. Somehow it makes me like I’m better than anyone else I go out with. All stupid shit in my head. Whenever I go out to venues where there are lots of puas, I feel like I have pressure to perform. I actually do better under pressure, but when these guys aren’t around I am lazy as FUCK.

In the end, I want to become an instructor. I feel like I’m not pushing my comfort zone anymore. You read stuff about that you progress really fast and then hit a plateau for a long time. Well, I think that plateau is something YOU CAN control. I think it’s an inner game issue, not necessarily outer game. I don’t want to hit that wall and DAMMMMMIT I want to become an instructor. So I just need to get the fuck out of the house and get my dirty work done.

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Rants

Don’t fucking give up. That’s how I want to start this post. I’ve noticed lately of the guys I read about or I know are starting to stop going out. A lot of people quit because they’re a few months in and have no results yet. Then they read about other people’s successes who got laid on a bootcamp or closed a girl just few months in the game. They read those stories and become even more demotivated.

FUCK THAT SHIT!!! Dude let me tell you my situation. I have about 7 months of infield experience and around 900 sets under my belt. I went from shy guy to someone who can have conversations with a wide range of people and connect with women. But there were so many nights were I was so out of it and felt like shit. In that time, I closed only one girl. I wasn’t lucky. I saw an opportunity and forced my own luck. Now I’m back here at home chilling and going out. I’m almost 2 months here and I haven’t got laid. Does that stop me? Hell no, I keep going at it.

Just because I don’t see direct result doesn’t mean I’m not improving. Field experience is never a waste of time or effort. What’s better? Sitting at home playing games or going out at a bar? You tell me. Field experience is never a waste of time. Nobody gets worse by keeping opening sets. It’s inevitable, you will get better. Dude, imagine what Mystery had to go through. He had no-one to learn game from in a systematic way and he learned everything himself. He kept going out and pushing. Eventually he got good and guess what….WE CAN DO THE SAME THING!!!

Don’t give me the excuse of “it’s too hard”. Fucking lame excuse. Who ever said it’s easy? Who ever said that mastering a skill is easy? Becoming good at a skill takes effort and time. If I ever read or hear someone quits because “it’s too hard” then that person doesn’t want it bad enough. Then don’t complain when you’re depressed looking for a girl, jack off the whole day on porn, and are paying hookers to satisfy your needs.

Everyone in the community comes from a place of hurt or incompetence. We all strive to get better with women. Put the time into it and it will happen. Just don’t quit.

Just keep going out and you will get better. Some people get better faster than others. It’s a fact of life. Just like some people are naturally more intelligent than you and I. Everyone is on it’s own path. Some will get good in a year, some will take 3 years to get good. Also, we all have different goals. Remember, we have a lifetime to get good. Keep approaching girls and going out, you will become better. WE CAN DO IT!

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Rants

As most of you guys can read on my blog, inner game has becoming more and more important to me. Ever since I joined the community I’ve been solely working on my outer game, and never on my inner game. I still believe you’ll develop inner game and confidence through experience, but there’s a lot you can do to help you improve otherwise. Let me share my story on how pickup should enrich you, not define you. It’s a quote by Mystery that I understand NOW, but not at the time I first heard it almost a year ago.

Now I have to admit that the last couple of months I was pretty unhappy with my lifestyle. My game was getting better and better. Whenever I went out I was seeing improvement, my outer game actually became good. I went from this super shy guy to this sex worthy guy that can connect with women. Next to that I got my first fuck buddy and that was a cougar. Sounds good, right? Still I was unhappy. My inner game was getting better, and so did my confidence. There still was something lacking, lifestyle.

In Dec ‘07 I jumped in and started going out 4 nights a week. That was a good period for me to jump in because I had 2 months off from school, so plenty of time to go out. Then ever since school started in Feb ‘08 I went out 3 nights/week. I was seeing progress, getting makeouts and numbers it was insane. I became obsessed with sarging. I had to go out all the time. My grades weren’t affected, but my business was. For those who don’t know, I have a small web development/internet marketing business where I work with a few friends of mine. The money was good and I had fun doing it….until I became too focussed on game.

Going out 3 nights/week is tough, when you know that I have school and a business to run. Next to that I had to work on my game. So whenever it was thursday, no school on friday, I would go out. My nights were long, starting from somewhere around 8pm till 2.30am. Me and my wings would gather up, discuss tactics and goals for the night and then go out sarge. Then somewhere around 1.30am we would go somewhere to eat and debrief for an hour. By the time it was 3am I was in bed and the next day I would do the same thing. This was exhausting, especially when you do this every week for a few months. It was a drill but I had the drive to do it. I want to become sooooo good at game, that I started sacrificing other parts of my life. Few weeks later I completely lacked motivation to work on my business. My friends were doing most of the work, but I still had to be there to coordinate everything, get new clients, and more. Few more weeks went by and then I called it quits. I stopped working on my business and I started living on my savings. My friends went to work somewhere else and now it was just a one-man business. Meanwhile I lost some clients and they were pissed at me. I wasn’t delivering the work I promised. For some fucked up reason, I didn’t care. I had enough money to live off for the next couple of months, so no worries. Boy, how fucked up was I back then thinking that! At the time I didn’t realize what I was doing, because schoolwork became a bigger priority.

So now it was just school and pickup, while I was living off my savings for the next 4 months. Those four months became more and more depressing. I was getting better at game, but my lifestyle started to become none-existent. Basicly my life looked like this: school, sarging, school. That was it. Every week. School. Sarging. Sleep. School. Cool lifestyle HUH?! It made me depressing the more I started to realize I had no life. Then I saw this episode of Rules of Seduction, where you see I Am The Future, this pickup guy who became obsessed with game. He spent all his money on bootcamps and seminars, but was broke and had no life. Then it clicked, I started to become him. Although I didn’t spend money on seminars/bootcamps, I had no job, spending money going out, and had no lifestyle. EEEEEEK!!!

More weeks went by and I started to realize how shitty my life was at the moment. Also around that time, if you’ve been reading my field reports, I started to get AA and choding around. In my mind I was thinking stuff like “I’m not worth it, I have no lifestyle” or “What’s the use, I can’t keep her around so why approach” all because I knew my lifestyle sucked. Also I wasn’t having fun anymore when I went out, very apparent in my field reports. Then also I saw my money on my bank account nearing zero dollars. It made me more depressing and now I was in a downward spiral. I booked an expensive plane ticket to home just in time, or I would have spent that money on going out, and I would never have been here.

Now being back home I got my mind straight and I’m happy again. I started working again on my business basicly starting from scratch, but I love entrepreneurship. That’s me, taking risks and trying to make it big time. I feel the rush again, but also I know that it’s fulfilling me. Finally I’m doing something again that makes me happy and brings bacon on the table. No longer do I have worries, but also I’m starting to understand the meaning of ‘being in the moment’ after reading The Power of Now. At first I didn’t understand the book at all, but slowly it’s starting to click.

When I get back, I will still work on my game by going out 3 nights/week. However, I now understand I have the responsibility to maintain my business while working on school too. No longer will I just count the days till sarging, but actually be productive and goal oriented. That’s one of the reason I started designing my program for the next 3 months. I know what I’ll be doing so I can schedule my time better and more effective.

It all made me realize that pickup is a beautiful thing, once you can properly integrate it in your life. It shouldn’t define you. That is something Sinn keeps talking about, I’ve seen him speak several times, and one of the things he keeps saying is that having an identity as a PUA is worthless. It’s not attractive it all. At first I was like, “WHOA?!” but I want to get laid. Now I understand. Pickup shouldn’t define you, it should enrich you.
SirSlick 1 Shitty Life 0

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Rants

Ah it’s nice being back home here in the Netherlands. I haven’t been here in two years and it was crazy seeing my little brothers again. The beasts have grown! Of course my parents were happy to see me and one of my best friends was at the airport too! That was really cool! Jetlag is still a problem for me because I fall asleep randomly during the day and I’m tired at the weirdest moments of the day. Should be gone in the next few days.

As you know I’m taking a little break from any pickup stuff. I caught myself reading the pu boards again, so I deleted all my shortcuts to pu boards in my browser so it’s not a click away. The only thing I read about pickup is the RSS feeds.

Speaking of reading, I’ve started reading The Power of Now. I just finished chapter one and I’m trying to actively reading it. Meaning, I underline important quotes and paragraphs in the book and later will copy the notes in my pickup binder. I’ve read a lot of self-help books but a lot of times the concepts never stuck in my head, so I’m trying this new approach to learning. So far, I like the book but the concepts are pretty vague. It will be more clear in later chapters I assume. I have high expectations of this book, it’s not an unknown book in the community and some people highly praise this book. I shall see.

I brought over my printed version of theREDstack. I still don’t know most of the stack, but one of my goals is to have more than 75% memorized and practiced before I go back to LA. I want to be able spit out stories about myself without worrying what to say.

When I return, I want to be a beginner again and start from scratch. I’m taking a break to defrag myself from all the knowledge I have so I can start with a fresh mindset. El Topo and Sinn are doing a mentorship program and I’m considering taking it. Another possibility is the 30/30 program of BradP. Both seem like really good programs to learn game in a structured manner. Right now, I’m leaning more towards the 30/30 club because I know exactly what I can expect. I need to e-mail ET for more info.

Before I got on the plane, I made sure I got rid of most of my pickup audio on my iPhone. It’s full of music now instead of 90% of pickup material.

I will get some pictures of here. The Netherlands is so different than LA, it’s magnificent.

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Rants

I announced earlier that I’m going to take a break for 2 months. Yes, for a while I won’t be doing any pickup related as I’m heading back home to the Netherlands and see my parents and old friends again. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t be going out. Actually, I will be going out a lot but I won’t have any missions, drills, or anything pickup on my mind. For now I want that completely out of my mind. Pickup has really overloaded my brain with too much information.

One of the things that BradP talked about at the PUA Summit 2008 is the importance of information timing, getting the right information at the right time. This is important for learning pickup. You shouldn’t learn the advanced stuff when you just start out. Nor do you want to be a KJ. I have to admit, I was a KJ for a month before I went out sarging. But since I’m a recovering computer geek I always have spent time surfing the pickup boards while going out 4 nights a week. At the same time I discovered some seduction related torrent sites and started exploring a lot of different pickup styles and info. Remember, I I still went out but I also kept reading like a wildman.

Now I’m at the point where I don’t want any information anymore. I have the feeling that I know too much. That is one of the reasons my AA has gone back. With too much on my mind I think too much whenever I’m out thinking what to do and say. I hope that this break will help me clear my mind so that when I come back I can start with a clean sheet. I’m thinking of doing either BradP’s 30/30 program or El Topo’s mentorship program. We’ll see.

During the break I’m planning to read 3 books: ‘The power of now’, ‘The way of superior man’, and ‘influence’. I really want to focus on my inner game this break and try to get rid of my limiting beliefs that I have. I feel like that’s another part that is holding me back, my weak inner game. Although I have written on my whiteboard “I AM A TEN”, I still don’t feel that way. I feel like I don’t 110% deserve a 9 or 10. That is mainly due to my lifestyle, but that is something I want to touch upon in another post.

I’ll be leaving in exactly a week from today. It’s going to be fun and exciting to be back in the little country most Americans don’t know anything about except for the legal drugs policy and legal prostitution. My friends will see a different me and I can’t wait to hang out with them!

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Rants

Ahhhh nice, another free flow rant. Sko!

So I’m planning to do more day game. I know know… I have that 5sets/day mission, but I horrible failed. I don’t do 5 sets a day, I do sets when I don’t have other stuff to do, which basicly means it’s a low priority now. But I want to change that. I need to go to the gym more to work my pickup muscle, and become more organized. Also, instead of going out 3 nights/week I’m thinking doing 2 nights/week and then 1 daygame/week. Since summer is coming up, I’m pretty sure I’ll be more and more day gaming instead of night gaming. Maybe I’ll go even further and go 2 times day gaming a week. All I know is by the time it’s June, I want to be able to say to myself that I have done lots of day game and will be able to competently day game.

Ever since I got my fuck buddy, I got a bit more lazy. I know I can get ass later so my sets are really just plain, boring, and friendly. I don’t push it anymore like going for the kiss or grabbing some ass or boobs. On the other hand, I’m way less needy which is attractive but I need to find that balance between being non-needy and pushing for it. However, last night I pushed myself again and it felt good. Even though I really didn’t hit state, I just knew again I’m getting my old mojo back where I can go for the kill. It’s coming again,……I feel it!

Instead of writing field reports, I’m thinking of just posting video and audio reports of myself. I think that reflects more what my game really is and seeing improvement is way easier. Unless something really awesome happened, like a realization or something great sets/lays that weren’t on film, I’ll just post videos and audio reports. Heck, maybe this blog will become some sort of video blog. Less typing for me :)

I want to switch up my game a bit more for day game, I want to go more direct. It’s usually a lottery game for me, but there is an art to direct game. I just need to figure it out. I want to try it out as much as possible, fail as many times as I should, and then read about it in ebooks. That way I’ll internalize this stuff better as I can learn from my mistakes. Blow me…or blow me out.

I’m still working on my enoturage mission, and I found out that’s actually pretty hard to ‘make friends’ and keeping in touch with them. Especially that I got lazy when I got my fuck buddy, so I’m trying to fix that. I still do that mission and even befriended a gay guy. And as you know…they have hot female friends :)

Time to hit the gym. Cheers!

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Rants